昨晚至今，一直都下著雨。上天彷彿要告訴我：沒有什麼值得可憐的，世上就是有著這麼靈頑不靈的人，明明想歪了還要繼續固執下去。的確就此失去一段友誼很可惜，但解鈴還須繫鈴人。我要做的都做了，唯有等她自己想通吧。可能我們無緣…

還記得爸爸的那一句「世界上沒有永遠的朋友，但亦沒有永遠的敵人。」想做朋友或敵人就由得她。

但就算你選擇把我當作敵人，也不代表你能逃避，你始終都要再面對這件事。若然你可以安然地把我當作永遠的敵人，我也無話可說。但我不會永遠憎恨一個人，因為憎恨實在太累、太沒意思。

人生過了二十年，大概已經有四分一個人生。

突然心血來潮想寫幾句在這廿年人生學到的道理。

有些東西不能強求，不是你的就不要勉強。有時的確要積極爭取，但當你要做的都做過，而一切都依然沒有改變時，你應知道是時候放手。

放手比爭取更難，說得易卻很為難。我也試過好幾回。但其實放手與執著只在乎你的態度和想法，並無差矣。

執著是因為你在乎，但放手亦可以是因為在乎，只不過方式不同罷了。試想想，如果你一直執著，其實人和事就從此被定型，不能變了，所以就沒有生命了。但如果你放手，你還可以看著它變。其實世界上的一切一切時刻都在變動，無人能夠阻止。與其花盡所有心血來保留著昔日的回憶，倒不如放下擔子，從此將之放在腦海裡的回憶；然後放鬆著享受著現在的生活。

當遇到困難，應該積極面對，同時細心考慮各種可能性。說得動聽，但人始終不是機器。人有感情的、有憂慮的。你可以做就只有盡量解決問題，辦不到的就交由上天去辦。冥冥中自有安排，船到橋頭自然直（這句 Crystal 金句，記到現在）。多擔心沒有幫助。嘗試找別的事做，分散注意力。

一直追求完美的我，一直都很怕失敗。怕失敗後沒面目見人，這不是好笑，因為很多自尊心重的人都一樣。然而我學到沒有失敗過的不叫完美。完美是要完滿地經歷過一切好壞才能修到的，另一說法就是沒有錯失過，人不會懂得珍惜。

「以為」這兩字時常聽見，以為這樣以為那樣，到頭來又時什麼樣？作者何權峰說過人「以為」兩字常弄出誤會。你以為是這樣，以後做了一些事…繼續伸延下去…最後卻發覺原來跟本就不是自己想的「以為」。後悔了嗎？從今開始，別揣測別猜度，有不清楚就要問，不然到最後才發現就太遲了。

Why, why and why?

I don't ever want that to happen, but it did. There are just things that you can't control and you could never imagine.

We were once close friends, at least I could see the evidence and proof that we were once friends. I just don't understand what went wrong and when did that happen. There were just too many misunderstandings. I'm not sure how to deal with this, these broken hearts.

As I said, once it is broken, it is broken. It would take whole lot of effort to put them back, or it might never happen, no one knows. Optimists would attempt no matter what because they value the opportunity. Pessimists would however rather not try because they couldn't bear the risk of hurting themselves again.

So who am I? I had always thought I were the optimist. But only when my bf reminded last night, I start to realise my heart is just too weak to face the risk of being hurt again...

As I grow up, I start to realise that there are things that can never be repaired. Once it is broken, that is it.

When we were small, we didn't pay much attention to whether we did the right thing, simply because we could afford to make mistakes. But as we become adults, we are assumed a lot more responsibilities. That means we can no longer make mistakes without considering its impact.

Social psychologists said people are not rational. I didn't believe it before, but now I truly understand and believe in this. There are so many things that can never be explained. It seems irrational, but it's all true.

Once friendship is broken, it's the end. No matter how strong you pretend to be, or how you compensate, the heart is already broken. Even though you can use stitches to sew the pieces back, it is never going to be the original heart that we had.

Perhaps, as there are more stitches on our heart, the more lessons that we have learnt. This is called life experience, and this is what makes our lives special and valuable.

Remind yourself, not everything is reversible.

Quote of the day:

Find a guy who calls u beautiful instead of hot, calls u back when u hang up on him, lies under the stars & listens to your heartbeat or stays awake just to watch u sleep...wait for the one who kisses your forehead, wants to show u off to the world, thinks u r just as pretty w/o makeup on and constantly reminds u how much he cares & how lucky he is to have u. The one who turns to his friends & says "that's her"